my least glamorous moment

My early morning special:

Low blood sugar, full bladder, and morning sickness, all at once. I  mean REALLY, which one do I try and solve first? If I go for the bladder, then I risk throwing up. If I go for the blood sugar, then I risk throwing up. If I go for solving the morning sickness, (like trying to eat somethin with protein, or some crackers or something) then, well, I risk throwing up. Usually I end up throwing up anyways, so lately I've been emptying my bladder and then racing to the kitchen to bring up my low blood sugar. Sophisticated, huh?

Well. That is nothing in comparison with what I like to call my Least Glamorous Moment.

It occurred at around 2 am yesterday. Let me preface this by explaining a couple things. First, somethin' about pregnancy, of which no one really seems to see the importance of informing you, is the Lack of Bladder Control. As someone who has just recently developed kidney function, you can probably totally see what a big deal this is. It seems like it's something they'd include under the list of Things You're Going to Hate, along with hemorrhoids and nausea and weight gain. But. Whatever.

The other thing you should know is that I have had a cough lately that has to resemble something seen in ancient times, when there was no cough medicine, and you could straight up die from a cold. It's awful, and ugly, and impressive with its powers. Even sans morning sickness, this thing has had me "gripping the toilet bowl", as it were. We don't have an actual toilet bowl, but there's the picture I'm trying to paint. It's BAD. Bruised ribs bad.

And at 2 am, it reached its full potential. I woke up in a start, coughing those body wracking coughs, sprang to the end of the bed to find my 'bucket', (ew, sorry.) and found myself in fetal position on the floor, hacking and yacking, hacking and yacking, and yes. Peeing.
Peeing like an untrained puppy. Peeing like one of my preschoolers
And when I could catch my breath a bit, crying. CRYING.

(needless to say: we've been doing a lot of laundry around here.)

It's now my theory that before one gives birth to their baby, they themselves are the baby. That's not grammatically correct but it is is true, I think, and maybe I should invest in some big people diapers.

That's all I wanted to tell you about, I guess. OH, except that when you are my 'kid' and you get sick, you are STAYING HOME. I blame my student's parents for this havoc being wreaked. Honestly, if your child SNEEZES and what resembles BITS OF HIS BRAIN come out, for the love of anything, ever. Keep him home.

Even you have that much sense, don't you?

Love you baby.

OH (another OH), I also wanted to tell you that at the ultrasound Tuesday, I thought you looked like a boy. Not that I could 'see' anything, I just really thought you looked like a boy. Probably silly. But it's worth mentioning because I have formerly been a strong team-pink-er, and thought I'd be a bit bummed if we weren't having a girl. But when I thought you were a boy for a second, I got really really happy. Turns out I love n' adore you no-matta-what.

Those are good odds :)

Love,
Mama