25 weeks

WOW kid. With your poofy lips and your button nose, you're a beauty. BREATH. TAKING.

We finally were able to do the 4d ultrasound. Through translation I gathered that everything looks normal- your heart rate, your organs, etc. Except one thing. The placenta that feeds and nourishes you has grown too mature for where we are in the pregnancy. They said you are a little on the small side, and that could be why. It could also mean that you will come too early, because when we get to the end the placenta won't be able to support you, and there is some risk in that.

At first when they said this, I cried. It was something I had feared. They referred me to a specialist, a diabetes doctor who actually speaks English, and she was wonderful. She asked me about my blood sugar and my insulin dosages, and concluded that my diabetes control is good. However at this stage in pregnancy, the hormones that the placenta make cause the mommy's body to resist insulin a bit, which is why my blood sugar has been a bit more difficult to control the past two weeks. She gave me a book to record everything-- when I eat, what my fasting blood sugars are, what they are two hours after I eat, how much insulin I take, etc.We'll be going to her with these results weekly from now on, and she'll keep an eye on how you and that pesky placenta are growing.

There are a lot of risks involved in growing you in my belly. However most of those risks expired after our first trimester together. I am so thankful and relieved to hear that. Also, because mommy has only had this stupid disease for five years, the chances that it will hurt you drop significantly. PHEW! May I just also mention to you how much lighter my shoulders feel after hearing a doctor tell me that everything you and I are experiencing is normal and common? Last week I got to the end of my rope-- you can only treat your body like a machine for so long-- poking and prodding and injecting and correcting-- expecting and needing perfection but rarely achieving it-- before you sort of. just. snap. I spent about 65 % of last week in tears.

We're calling the consulate to demand that after MONTHS of holding our medical supplies, they be released. We've been paying out of pocket weekly for test strips, long acting insulin, and meal time insulin, and it has all but depleted our finances. That's something you won't hear much from me about when you are small, but it is something you should eventually know. We want to give you the whole world, but with these medical demands we've barely been making it. Your daddy told me that his daddy used to go tot work every day at 4:30 in the morning, but first he would kiss him on the head and tell him, "Daddy loves you, and so does Jesus." He never went a day not knowing how much he was loved. He says that no matter how much we have, we'll give you a life like that. You're gunna be loved, every day.

We also are trying to figure out where oh where we will live. We need to move but our lease isn't up til November. An awkward time because that is just two short months after you're due to arrive. Also, most apartments are gone by then. Prayin' for grace and help. There is so much to think about.

Seeing your healthy baby girl face and your sweet little hands and your (long!) active legs soothed some ache in my heart. It's nice to know after all these weeks that while we are still at a higher risk than other mommies and babies, we at least are not in the leakiest boat in the most violent storm. Things might actually be just fine. Now to figure out if we can fly or not. Just four more weeks of the school year, five weeks of summer and a couple weeks back home. And you'll be here.