Hello, third trimester.

Well, there was about a week and a half there where I was exercising at the gym again regularly. It didn't take long for restless nights, Dongguan humidity and seven hour days with preschoolers to wear me down. Now my days consist of a long walk waddle home from school, panting at the top of that hill, and finally making it to the apartment where I strip off my sweaty clothes and wrestle myself into the least waist-hindering clothing I own to settle into a deep dark nap coma. Later I will peruse Pinterest, see images of pretty baby nurseries and girls in skinny jeans, get depressed and begin my search for a fruity cereal.

Sigh.

We're going to get your daddy's blood tested this weekend to find out if he is negative like me- there's a sliver of a chance he is, but we'll take it. If he's not, we'll have to go to Hong Kong or Macau or somewhere else out of our pay grade to get some shot called Rhogam. I guess it keeps me from making antibodies against you. We really want to avoid anything anti where it concerns you. We are all pro you around here.

We looked at an apartment last week that I decided I could make work since it seemed to be our only option. Having the entire summer to get it ready was promising, (since I will now be grounded to China til you come. No flying for us after all!) and I was starting to feel a bit optimistic about our living prospects when this move became unavailable to us as well. Along with every.single.good.apartment.we have seen/heard about.

Disheartened. That is the word. We're coming up with another plan, and I spent the weekend crying like seven month pregnant mommies will do, over all this atop feelings of inadequacy and fear of the future and exhaustion from the burden I didn't know I was carrying, and now I feel a bit  better. Still lacking resolution, still lacking a plan, but, better than mascara running down my face and those weeping-hangovers the next two days. I don't know what we are going to do. I don't know what this summer will be for me now. Ha. I don't even have a "but I do know..." to add to that. I really don't know anything! OH. Here is one. I know I will be napping A LOT. ;) And I suppose I know that I will  make this frustrating-for-a-new-family apartment work. It's not SO bad. Its squishy and small, but so are you. Maybe I need to learn GRATITUDE. Maybe I need to learn to train my heart in CONTENTMENT. And maybe I need to keep reminding myself that things won't always be this way.

gettin a watermelon belly

I know that God wants to teach me something. SOMETHING. In all this wonderful chaos. I hope I am learnin whatever it is I'm supposed to be learning.

our first Eisley purchase. You're tiny!