High risk in China. What it's like.

I know you're not actually late.

It just feels like you are because we have expected you so many times. You're still two weeks away from your due date, but we've been told to expect you no later than 36 weeks. At one point we were even told 28 weeks. Looks like you're more of a trooper than the doctors expected.

When you grow up and decide to have babies, I'm going to advise you not to do so in China. Now maybe that isn't fair, because I have a few friends with perfectly smooth birthing stories here in china...however, for whatever reason, no medical professional seems to know what to do with us.

At my 36 wk check up they told us the placenta had matured too much again. They gave you one week to hang out in my belly and said to come back the following Tuesday to check in to the hospital and prep for a cesarean. The following day is a Wednesday, and I got my first taste of back labor contractions and I did not care for them. They lasted for 12 hours and I yelled a lot, then they went away and returned Thursday evening. We went to the hospital, and you basically know that whole story. Stayed for two days, tried to induce labor, a host of tests and THEN an actual water test which neither led them to confirm or deny that my water was broken. (they told me the day before that it had.) Sent us home pretty confused.

Tuesday, the day of my actual appointment, comes around and your dad is stuck in Hong Kong. Wednesday I go in for an ultrasound bc I am beginning to realize that I am told a vastly different story about you each visit. They tell me nothing about the placenta, but this doctor is concerned about the umbilical cord maturity. Suggests I stay in hospital for next week for monitoring. I am reluctant (actually, I refuse) to stay there again, and want to go ahead with the cesarean that was already planned a week ago. Doctor tells me to come in following day fasting for blood work and other prep, and I will be checked in and have the surgery the following day. (Friday).

Thursday: bags packed and ready, again. I tried to fast, but I'm a pregnant diabetic. I lasted about 7 hours before my blood sugar crashed and I had to eat. In the morning I try calling two numbers I've been given to find out what I should do. (I've gone all the way out there and been sent home before after unsuccessful fasts and I wanted to avoid that.) (And honestly, who expects a pregnant diabetic to fast for 12 hours??)
No answer. I arrive late and am lectured. Resist urge to throw rocks/curse, mostly bc I have no rocks in reaching distance. Nurse looks at my file and says I don't need blood work bc I was just here a few days ago, and there was no need for me to fast. (Do they think I am coming up with these instructions on my own??) The doctor who told me to fast had my file and knew I was just in the hospital. I probably didn't roll my eyes but I'm sure I sighed loudly.
Get to maternity ward. Maternity ward doctor asks through translator why i want to make my baby come early. Why do I want to have a surgery....seriously??
She then says that even if they could procure my blood type, the Chinese blood would not mix with the foreigners blood.
Seriously. She said that.
She then admits (after A LOT of back and forth that felt like hitting your head on a wall...really, don't try it.) that she doesn't want to treat me bc I am foreigner and she feels if something went wrong, it would reflect poorly on her.
At this point I actually feel compassion. (kind of refreshing bc all I had been feeling was frustration.) I felt sad for the fear she lives under. I know Jesus and I still live in fear. What kind of chains must she be in to just lie and grasp at straws to avoid treating me.
They check us in shortly after (I still don't know why) and we wait for 4 or 5 hours (your grandparents and I) until she finally comes and says there is nothing wrong that would be cause for us to take you out early. This is not after another exam or test. I assume it was after reviewing my file, but who knows, because those same files led other doctors to believe you need to come out immediately.
She suggests we stay in the hospital for monitoring. I don't understand this bc if nothing is wrong, why can't i just go home. I say I stayed here before based on this hospitals recommendation, was charged obscenely and then discharged under the conclusion that it was all unnecessary. I feel like a puppet that two small children are fighting over.
She tells me that the hospital
Policy is that if a baby is born before 38 weeks, she will be place in NICU regardless of how healthy she is, and that would cost us a great deal. I say fine. Schedule the cesarean for next week, when we are 38 weeks, and I will come in twice for additional monitoring.
Two days later i come in for a checkup- fetal monitoring, blood
Pressure, etc. So glad it was a Sunday and your dad could come with me...At this checkup my blood pressure is high, my ankles and feet are swollen, and your heart is beating a little on the quick side. They also measure some contractions and feel strongly that I should check in to the hospital.
I cry. Because Im overwhelmed, and exhausted of being told things that don't pan out or add up. They are saying edemia and preeclampsia and I've read of these things and i don't want to take the risk, and our sweet English speaking nurse is insisting we stay so that if you are in distress they can detect it right away and rescue you. We agree. Check in. Pay. Etc. Get to our room. A new maternity ward doctor comes, takes my blood pressure, reviews all my paperwork, and examines my abdomen. Says you have dropped half way. (Best news of the week little girl). Says my results are all normal and I can go home.
Seriously.
They also told me that if you are in distress, I will feel you moving a lot more than normal. If anything changes, I should come back.
We are discharged, get our money back, have to wait an hr for he hospital to open again ( by then it had closed for "nap") so that we can buy insulin. My blood sugar is crashing bc I haven't eaten in 7 hours. I stuff chocolate into my mouth and drink your dads tea and tears are running down my face and he just keeps kissing my head and telling me I'm doing a great job and how much he loves me and that he knows you'll be ok and in that moment I'm so thankful for him.

We come home. I go straight to bed. We were going to
Have a baby shower today. The house looks lovely, but we had to
Cancel. I'm feeling heart broken and unsure of how you are faring. Tugged in so many directions and untrusting of any doctor I have seen In the last 9 months. I feel criticized by them and unhelped. I can't sleep so I take a bath, and you start moving like crazy. It lasts for hours. Should I just enjoy this, or should I worry?
Meanwhile everyone wants to know what's going on, because they love you and they love your mommy and daddy. I just want to sleep. I cry a lot. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better.